As an alienated parent there are certain times of the year that hit home the hardest. There are some weeks where the mentality is one of ignorant positivity and blind courage to make the best out of the situation you’ve been dealt. Then there are others when the circumstance takes over again.
Christmas is always hard, their birthday, Easter, fathers day, fireworks night, and other occasions that mark anniversary’s of the few special memories you have or events that should be spent your with foreigner offspring. These times are particularly hard to simply ‘play the hand you’ve got’ and to gather the courage to fight and continue every day routines. Personally I find myself reluctant to leave the house most days around these times. Including for work, reaction and social commitments which of course leads to the problem deteriorating, but when you are in that spiral that advice doesn’t change your downward trend, and gives the impression of going missing to the world. In this state if friends or family ask for my presence I simply tell them I’ve gone ‘awol’ for awhile, which has become code for leave me alone, or simply just ignore the request all together. This process normally starts to build for months leading up to the occasion, particularly with the big ones, and lasts for weeks afterwards before I pick the pieces up and make a fresh pledge to build. Only to watch it all fall down again.
There is no silver lining, nothing that can help to ease the calendars mocking of you. Only that eventually there will be a brief gap where its not quite as painful.
A Forgotten father 